Must be 15 years ago, I wanted a new agency to represent me and I made an appointment with the one I prefered the most.

I have very sensitive skin on my thighs and tummy and therefore I cannot wear a pantyhose. Hold-ups were not for sale yet, so I mostly chose to wear stocking-socks under my outfits. Not very charming when you have ‘big legs’ and definitely not fashionable those days. I was pretty happy maxi skirts and dresses were in fashion and nobody would notice my stocking-socks.

The day of the appointment I choose my outfit for the occasion carefully: a dark blue, maxi, pinstriped skirt, a t-shirt with a cute print and tough shoes. I was quiet nervous when I rang the doorbell and entered the building. Somebody opened the door of the office I had to be and I stepped in, not knowing they just polished the floor with wax……

I slipped and slided over the floor and ended sitting on my bum my legs widened in v-shape, my skirt halfway at my thighs, showing my skincoloured stocking-socks….aahhhhrrrggg.

I had been on a make up-job in Brighton (England) for a week and before flying home I went (window-)shopping in London. Walking around I found myself near Harrods, the expensive department store and wanted to go in, when I got stopped by one of the security men. I wasn’t allowed to enter the store because I was dressed too provocative… The security guy told me about this new policy at the door; women (and men) dressed too sexy weren’t allowed into the store.

But I wasn’t dressed too sexy, wearing Marlene Dietrich trousers and a Ann DeMeulenmeester t-shirt. The problem seamed to be my belt, a beautiful barbed wire belt I bought in New York. If I was willing to take of the belt and leave it at the security desk in front of the store, I would be allowed  into the store.

Thanks, but I didn’t feel like playing this game and I left, quiet pissed ofcourse….

This is my most recent fashion faux pas…

(I am not a party person, to shy of a personality… Love to dress up though, because it makes me feel good, certainly not for attention)

This time I was invited to a very fashionable event. I still had this beautiful ‘white dress with white overcoat’ hanging in my (walk-in) closet, which I hadn’t worn before and I decided to make it an all-white outfit for the evening, finishing it off with my pretty white Miu-Miu glitter shoes. Thank God it was to warm to wear tights and I decided to go bare-legged, otherwise I would have put on white lacy hold-ups too….

After some time everybody was asked to go to the main hall where Duffy was going to perform. I followed the route downstairs and stood in the middle of the room looking around if I recognized anybody, when it happened: black light was turned on… Most people were dressed in black or other dark colours, so I stood there all alone glowing in the dark!!  I felt só uncomfortable, so present and there was nothing to hide behind…

On top of this, a smoke-machine blew a terrible substance into the air which made my throat swell and I could hardly breathe anymore. Fighting my way out of the room which was overcrowded and only had one small entry, I had to push people aside, apologizing with a squeaky voice :”Sorry, sorry, I can’t breathe! I need fresh air….”

Damm, that was not my finest fashion moment!

Last week Astrid reminded me of yet another Fashion Faux Pas, thanks babe!

Everybody has their own issues, when it comes to the body. I have many, like my ‘non petite’ legs. I was born with them and supposedly they were lovely when I was a baby, cuddly fatty baby legs, but when you’re a grow-up, suddenly they aren’t so cute anymore…

For a long time I did hide them under maxi skirts and trousers, but a few years ago I stopped hiding them. In winter I can still cover them with beautiful hold ups in lace, with flower patterns, in Prince-of-Wales checks and other nice leg wear, but when spring arrives and hold ups become to warm…

I used to cover my legs with a self tanner of a certain brand and was pretty satisfied with the result, although I didn’t like the way the self tanner came off, in an irregular stained way. Then my favorite self tanner changed ingredients and also got a shimmer (something you don’t want on heavy legs!), so I had to look for another brand. I bought a very expensive new one and because I had to work on monday and had been lazy over the weekend, sunday evening I started to rub my legs in the new self tanner. Carefully I set on the end of my bed and gave the creme time to smooth into my skin. When it was all dried in I went to sleep.

Monday morning I was in a hurry and in the shower I quickly observed at my legs. I got frightened by what I saw, dark brown stains all over! I tried to scrub the tanner of, but it was totally stuck on my legs. I had to run to work and just hoped nobody would notice, although I knew this was wishful thinking and só not realistic !

At the studio I went to go up the stairs, Astrid walked behind me, but she didn’t say a thing. Pff, she didn’t notice!? A few minutes later she got a huge smile on her face and said: “You must have had a busy weekend rubbing in teak-oil on your legs…!” I felt so stupid but had to laugh too. I love her witty humor! After that day I decided to accept the way my legs look natural….ah, very pale.

Last week I bumped into my friend Peter at a fleamarket and he happily reminded me of a fashion faux pas I had forgotten…

Some years ago Chloé launched their new sunglasses and one pair immediately caught my eyes; the pinkish ones with a crystal heart in the left corner. I had to have them, but regretted this purchase pretty soon after I bought them, because they were copied só often, I didn’t even like to wear them anymore.

I had a coffee-date with Peter and Kate at one of the cafés near the canals. It was a beautiful sunny day and we sat down near the water. Kate was telling us about a television program she watched a few nights before, about how to catch a man’s attention. One of the tips was to wave your hair from one side to the other. Kate showed us how, but ofcourse I could do it more theatrical, gave a demonstration and then it happened: my expensive Chloé sunglasses slipped of my face and fell into the canal…  Kate panicked and wanted to dive after them, but I yelled : ‘No, they aren’t worth it, their soooo last season!’

We couldn’t stop laughing and deep down inside I was happy they were gone. I will never buy anything so hip and trendy anymore, for sure it will be copied a million times…