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Fashion faux pas (part 4)

26 Feb

Some time ago I went through a rough period and decided to talk to a therapist. I made an appointment and a few days later I rang the doorbell. The therapist opened the door herself and looked at me. She seemed a bit surprised…

The waiting room was in the basement and she offered to help me get down the stairs. I thanked her, but it wasn’t necessary. Waiting for the therapist to call me to her office, I wondered what made her think I needed help going down the stairs? Maybe I looked very distressed or panicked?

When it was time to join her in her office, again she asked if I needed help? She began our talk by asking me why I dressed up for the appointment… A bit startled by her question, I said : ‘I always look like this’ (most of the time when people ask me something similar, I ad : ‘I only come in one flavour’, but this time it seemed inappropriate to make a joke…). I was wearing an antique-green silk velours ausbrenner dress and because I like mixed ‘n matched, I combined it with a pair of black canvas laced-up wedges.

After 50 minutes my time was up and she escorted me to the door. We shook hands and then she helped me over the doorstep and asked if I would get home safely. No problem, my bicycle was nearby. She raised her eyebrows… and looked at my shoes. Then I understood …. My shoes had a ‘fashionable orthopedic look’, but my therapist thought they were actually genuine orthopedic shoes!

Fashion faux pas (part 3)

22 Jan

One year, just before Christmas , I went to  Paris with my friend, for some heavy-duty shopping… We had a great time and at the Yves saint Laurent boutique he bought a beautiful suit, really fantastically cut, it suited like a glove. We also visited the Comme Des Garçons store and Yohji Yamamoto boutique plus some other candy stores. In the evening we had diners in nice little restaurants and hang out at a piano bar.

But everything comes to an end, also this lovely trip. The morning we were leaving, we walked by one of the Dior boutiques and went inside. We looked at the clothes and accessories and then he asked me if there was something special I would like to get for Christmas. Ofcourse there was, but I didn’t dare to point it out, because  it was to expensive. Instead I pointed out a tiny,tiny necklace with a tiny,tiny pendant. The least expensive item I had seen.

He looked at me and spoke the unforgettable words: ‘Dahling,subtlety is waisted on you’……

I couldn’t stop laughing, but didn’t understand how he knew?! He sent me outside and bought the fancy bracelet in the picture above. I wore it every day for many years. And in the meantime I do understand, how he knew…it’s obvious.

Fashion faux pas (part 2)

15 Jan

It must have been de late 1960’s, my 8th or 9th birthday. I got some great clothes and accessories…, a hot pants outfit, a golden-colored belt with a butterfly buckle and antique-pink over-the-knee socks.

Ofcourse I wanted to wear this new, hip outfit to school and I left home feeling  fabulous. But at school I was called to the headmasters office and told, I was only allowed to wear the hot pants that day, because it was my birthday. In those days it was considered to be indecent to wear something so short and showing so much leg!!! I was so disappointed and offended, because they didn’t appreciate ‘high (my) fashion’….

Nowadays I can smile about this event ,specially because (as you can see in the picture above) I have really heavy legs and the antique-pink over-the-knee socks must have looked horrible on me. The elastic on top was so tight, it made my legs look like sausages and with my skin color (which has a lot of redness) the antique pink color was a no-go combination, hi, hi…

Fashion faux pas (part 1)

1 Jan

I made many, many fashion faux pas, but this is probably one of my worst..

Years ago, just before the millenium, I was staying in Paris during fashion week and after a day of running around, I went to diner with some friends. We had booked a table in a little ‘in-crowd’ restaurant and were talking about our favorite designer those days, Helmut Lang. One of the boys was wearing a shirt by Helmut Lang, another a pair of briefs and I, very low on cash at the time, was wearing a cardigan I made myself, but it was a bit too much inspired by Helmut Lang…..

I had a great evening, until…the others started giggeling. I didn’t understand what was going on, till they asked me to turn around. There he was, Helmut Lang, together with some of his models at the centre table of the restaurant. I turned purple and just wanted to dissolve into dust. I tried to take of my cardigan, as unnoticeable as possible.

He didn’t see what was happening at our table, but I felt bad anyway.  Sorry, mr.Lang!!!!